Marianne and Gregory crossing the threshold into 'The Country of Marriage.'
Some thoughts on the moment and the words that are chosen for your ceremony.
The lyrics to a song keep going through my mind from a musical by Anthony Newley. THis is my moment my once in a lifetime......
When I met Marie and Michael last weekend at Scargo Cafe I was immediately impressed by how important the ceremony was for them. Mike in describing how he imagined their ceremony at Bosari Gallery kept coming back to the words, "The moment."
'The moment in a wedding can't be forced it just happens;sometimes it's a funny aside then a belly laugh, sometimes it's a look or being moved to joyful tears or just a subtle little inside joke, a wink between two people who in a blink have gone from one state of being to another.
It is really quite something and being with Mike and Marie who came into the restaurant strangers to me but left as friends brought this moment thing to mind.
When planning and creating a ceremony with your officiant there is no one right way. It is up to the couple.. whatever makes them most comfortable. Some like Anna and Will just let me have at it and it was just perfect. Other couples want to be an integral part of the process. It is fine to want to review a draft and make changes.
I do want to share some meaningful feedback someone gave me about their wedding ceremony. It was by a groom who is a writer himself. He had wanted to write something for his wedding. Just days before when that something hadn't been written yet , we talked and he had come to this insight,
"It isn't for me to preside over my own wedding."
Before the wedding at the Quaker Meeting House in Yarmouth the groom was going over the wonderful music of Bruce Abbott and Beau. Gregory was obviously accustomed to the role of artistic director. We hadn't done a rehearsal so well let's just say the bar was high........and I was a bit nerved up.
But it happened, the moment during the ceremony as the beautiful bride got the giggles, then we all were moved by the music and that transforming revelation that something has just happened. The couple had passed through a threshold into what Wendell Berry calls, "the country of marriage."
Some months later the couple called me and the words I will always cherish came from Gregory,
"The words you chose for the ceremony bowed to who we are.' 