This year when I sent them an anniversary greeting, they sent back the news that their family had grown by one. Little baby boy, Jiri, came into the world last week. What a wonderful world!

This couple wins the prize for coming from farthest away, to be married right here, in my home town of Brewster.

Now I hold all three of them, near and dear to my heart.

'Monogamy' now there's a word you don't hear much about anymore: Not even in the wedding biz.  

"It's pertinent to the situation" we all decided, as Rachel and Alex said their " I do's" and used this word as a promise to be true.

The Meaning of Marriage by Wendell Berry

 The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word.

In giving our word to one another we " promise to stay connected and faithful in body, mind and spirit." That is how another couple put it when asked what commitment meant to them.

 In these times when many couples live together before marrying, this commitment to be faithful is even more pertinent. Now you are not just sharing a house, you are creating a home. 

 It is a powerful promise, this giving your word to be true, to the one you cherish above all others. 

"I plight thee my troth" alas....at last, what a blessed relief.

(This reflection was inspired by The Ravens: Rachel and Alex, Anna and Will and the self- proclaimed  'Internationally Unknown Poet'- Thomas Lynch.)

Last week I presided over a wedding at Bosari Gallery. The ceremony took place in the Wine Cellar of this vintage 1800's converted barn on Main Street in Dennis. The carved stone walls and the authentic wine press gave the room a romantic aura.  The couple themselves were a blending of two fine heritages. The adult children from both sides of the family stood up for their mother and father. The groom's niece sang "Lucky" as afternoon sun poured in transforming the day from damp and dark to warm and cozy.

After the couple was presented as husband and wife, they danced over to the wine table to raise their glass in a toast to love and marriage; a perfect meritage moment. 

Last week I heard from a couple. They were guests at a wedding I presided over at Preservation Hall in Wellfleet last Autumn. Matt had written a beautifully crafted and sweetly funny ode to Taylor and John, the couple being wed. Matt asked me if I would officiate their September wedding in Portland, Maine. Oh, how I wanted to do their wedding. Flattery will get you everywhere with me.  I knew having met them and their having witnessed me in action, that we would be a great match. 

So what makes your celebrant a great match ? Sometimes it's just that you- get each other. In weddings sometimes I talk about how couples get each other - their sense of humor, the way they move through life, even if their styles or backgrounds are very different. When you are around them you sense it. They truly get each other even in their otherness. They bring out not just the best in each other, but the authentic in one another. 

This is also what couples are looking for, in the person they choose, to preside over their wedding ceremony. Someone who gets them as a couple and is authentically enthusiastic about being their celebrant.

So if the next 'to do' is finding a find and catching a catch to make your match official, make sure your officiant is a good match.  

More about this next time .

Warmly,

The ever revved Reverend Katie G.

* See quote from Gregory Baird a few blogs ago...Gregory and Marianne wed at Quaker Meeting House in Yarmouth

This Cape Cod Wedding Officiant Interfaith minister has been getting some really great inquiries for weddings lately. The first is a darlin' couple who want a Bloomsday theme for their, yes, you Joyce fans guessed it, June 16th Wedding. All kinds of syncronicity with this one: with the wedding is being held at the Inn where my husband and I honeymooned ...The lovely Watermark Inn- Provincetown but it is not only this, the bride's parents are the Innkeepers and were the Innkeepers in 1988 when we were there as newly weds. Don't you just love it! I remember the champagne and the wonderful welcome from the Shea family and stunning bayside views. It was my first trip to Cape Cod. Let me see if I can upload a picture of the view. Here's one view and an expanded one.

The bride, Heather, said she was open to my doing the ceremony or at least the poetry bits in a stream of conciousness fashion ..I will have to consult with both the groom and the bride's father and my brother- all graduates of Notre Dame. Mike, the groom did his thesis on Ulysses and my brother recently memorized a whole section of either Finnegan's Wake or Ulysses, (I'm not sure which) to recite at his book club, to rave reviews.

 So when the bride and groom's day come June 16th the brothers and fathers and mothers and sisters gather by the sea and the sun setting over the bay on this bloomin day and the bride like Molly will be adored and the malarkey will not only fly but soar....  

Some thoughts on the moment and the words that are chosen for your ceremony.

The lyrics to a song keep going through my mind from a musical by Anthony Newley. THis is my moment my once in a lifetime......

When I met Marie and Michael last weekend at Scargo Cafe I was immediately impressed by how important the ceremony was for them. Mike in describing how he imagined their ceremony at Bosari Gallery kept coming back to the words, "The moment." 

'The moment in a wedding can't be forced it just happens;sometimes it's a funny aside then a belly laugh, sometimes it's a look or being moved to joyful tears or  just a subtle little inside joke, a wink between two people who in a blink have gone from one state of being to another.

It is really quite something and being with Mike and Marie who came into the restaurant strangers to me but left as friends brought this moment thing to mind.

When planning and creating a ceremony with your officiant there is no one right way. It is up to the couple.. whatever makes them most comfortable. Some like Anna and Will just let me have at it and it was just perfect. Other couples want to be an integral part of the process. It is fine to want to review a draft and make changes.

I do want to share some meaningful feedback someone gave me about their wedding ceremony. It was by a groom who is a writer himself. He had wanted to write something for his wedding. Just days before when that something hadn't been written yet , we talked and he had come to this insight,

"It isn't for me to preside over my own wedding."

 Before the wedding at the Quaker Meeting House in Yarmouth the groom was going over the wonderful music of Bruce Abbott and Beau. Gregory was obviously accustomed to the role of artistic director. We hadn't done a rehearsal so well let's just say the bar was high........and I was a bit nerved up.

But it happened, the moment during the ceremony as the beautiful bride got the giggles, then we all were moved by the music and that transforming revelation that something has just happened. The couple had passed through a threshold into what Wendell Berry calls, "the country of marriage."

Some months later the couple called me and the words I will always cherish came from Gregory,

"The words you chose for the ceremony bowed to who we are.'