Your Wedding Vows: The Soul of your Ceremony.

 Meghan and Jeff say I Do at the Providance Library last February. What a beautiful indoor venue and the family provided such meaningful Greek touches as the Exchange of Crowns.

The ceremony is the heart of your wedding day and I like to think of the vows as the soul of your ceremony. A big-hearted wedding ceremony always gives not only the two of you an infusion of love but allows your guests to share in the happiness of the moment. The vows are really more about the two of you and what you are about to do. A deeply felt promise to be faithful and true. 

It is in the alchemy of the moment which cannot to forced or coerced or even captured. The reactions of the bride and groom as they take their vows are varied and often surprising: from giddy to stunned, sincere to numb, to emotional soulful fun.

I always include in the ceremony these words before the vows:

The Meaning of Marriage by Wendell Berry

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for joining ourselves to one another, we join ourselves to the unknown…you do not know the road; you have committed your life to a way.

and that way is with each other.....

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of our word.....

Vows are a promise a giving of our word to fidelity to love. So on the days where love is more of a decision than a passionate feeling we can remember what we have given our word to ......

When couples are writing their own vows I also include a more taditional 'I do' vow so they can be more free- form in their words to each other. 

Often when a couple decides to write their own vows,one of them is worried that they aren't as articulate as the other. They ask me to help and if they have already filled the second page of the wedding questionnaire I have sent them, which contains such questions as, "What do you most appreciate about each other?  What does commitment mean to you? what is at the heart of your love story? "  I can cull from their reponses words of praise and promise. Then they are off and running, ready to write.

 

 In this photo the bride surprised her groom with a written vow on the white board behind us. She thought she would be too emotional to speak. As I recall the groom was the one who was moved to tears when he read her words.

This wedding was in the wine cellar at Borsari Gallery in Dennis. It is  such a wonderful atmosphere for a soulful, heartfelt wedding ceremonies.

So for those of you who are a bit shy we can always find a way to make your ceremony feel safe and warm while remaining soulful, heartfelt and even fun!