The Moment and "The words you chose bowed to who we are."

Marianne and Gregory crossing the threshold into 'The Country of Marriage.' 

Some thoughts on the moment and the words that are chosen for your ceremony.

The lyrics to a song keep going through my mind from a musical by Anthony Newley. THis is my moment my once in a lifetime......

When I met Marie and Michael last weekend at Scargo Cafe I was immediately impressed by how important the ceremony was for them. Mike in describing how he imagined their ceremony at Bosari Gallery kept coming back to the words, "The moment." 

'The moment in a wedding can't be forced it just happens;sometimes it's a funny aside then a belly laugh, sometimes it's a look or being moved to joyful tears or  just a subtle little inside joke, a wink between two people who in a blink have gone from one state of being to another.

It is really quite something and being with Mike and Marie who came into the restaurant strangers to me but left as friends brought this moment thing to mind.

When planning and creating a ceremony with your officiant there is no one right way. It is up to the couple.. whatever makes them most comfortable. Some like Anna and Will just let me have at it and it was just perfect. Other couples want to be an integral part of the process. It is fine to want to review a draft and make changes.

I do want to share some meaningful feedback someone gave me about their wedding ceremony. It was by a groom who is a writer himself. He had wanted to write something for his wedding. Just days before when that something hadn't been written yet , we talked and he had come to this insight,

"It isn't for me to preside over my own wedding."

 Before the wedding at the Quaker Meeting House in Yarmouth the groom was going over the wonderful music of Bruce Abbott and Beau. Gregory was obviously accustomed to the role of artistic director. We hadn't done a rehearsal so well let's just say the bar was high........and I was a bit nerved up.

But it happened, the moment during the ceremony as the beautiful bride got the giggles, then we all were moved by the music and that transforming revelation that something has just happened. The couple had passed through a threshold into what Wendell Berry calls, "the country of marriage."

Some months later the couple called me and the words I will always cherish came from Gregory,

"The words you chose for the ceremony bowed to who we are.'   

A Union Station Wedding for Will and Anna: Rehearsal

When God introduces you, you know.

A ceremony of light, laughter and oh yes, utterly romantic love. I don't have any pictures that do the ceremony justice yet. A few of the rehearsal. Let's just say the power of love was tangible and transforming and it was a fantastically fun time. Here's one of Anna and Will practicing their processional at the rehearsal in the Columbus Room at Union Station

Anna and Will Wed in our nation's capital

Update on Sunday, January 8, 2012 at 6:53PM by Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

Just over a week ago this small town Cape Cod Wedding officiant flew to DC with her husband to preside over the wedding of Anna and Will. I began the story a few blogs ago when I wrote about going inside to do winter weddings. 

Our family met Will when he played for the Cape Cod League in 2004. He came as a temporary player and ended up an All-star and MVP for the Whitecaps not to mention having the highest number of stolen bases. Months ago when I was thinking about Anna and Will's ceremony I opened a little book of inspirational quotes given to me by another couple whose wedding I officiated last summer and read these words

Progress always involves risk.You can't steal second base without taking your foot off first- Fredrick B. Wilcox

 At the rehearsal dinner I made a futile stab at paraphrasing this quote. I had imbibed a bit and was attempting to rebute the previous toast. The previous toast was suppose to have been given by the best man, who is also Will's twin brother, but Jonathan, the best brother-man,  had put in a pinch toastmaker. This pinch hitter came in the form and figure of their childhood friend, Tom Flanagan. Well, Tom did this hilarious bit about how the officiant should be an ump or at the very least, be dressed in an umpire's uniform .... 

I digress....and I do have some pictures of the rehearsal dinner and the laughter this toast brought out but back to creating the ceremony. I had never met Anna and only seen Will once since his summer on the Cape. But as Jonathan the best brother -man noted in the make-up toast at the reception, Will got a look in his eyes whenever he mentioned Anna. He had that look, Jonathan reported, immediately after he met Anna on a car ride to Myrtle Beach back in the autumn of 2004. Call it love eyes or the look of love or just the look. He had it and still does.

The amazing thing was Anna totally trusted Will when after he proposed to her he went on to propose the idea of his summer host parents and their son not only be invited to the wedding but have Miss Kathleen officiate. And here is another totally trusting act on their part. They never saw one word of the ceremony. Not even at the rehearsal. This says so much to me about them.

 Progess always involves risk...

They were present and had to listen and let themselves be presided over and moved (especially when their friend Cori sang so beautifully) and tickled by the Ode to Anna and Will, and then to make those sincere and solemn promises and secure those vows with a ring and a kiss- all in the course of a half an hour without ever really reviewing the game plan.

..... You can't steal second base without taking your foot off first.

 What is riskier and more sacred, in this day and age, than taking the leap of faith into married life.

        As Will said, " Anna and I only want to do this once."

        Not only for Anna and Will, but for everyone who felt the power of their love, this was a once- in- a- lifetime fun and faith-filled wedding.

        Hooray, Hooray Will and Anna are married today! ( and no one had to wear an ump's uniform; not even Otis.) 

Solstice Slap-Happy Serenity

When I was running through the woods today, the wind whipping in from the north west I had this great inspiration to blog about something regarding weddings and the return of light and all that jazz. Durn if I can remember it.

Later in the day I did have a beautiful time meeting with a lovely couple at Wequassett Resort on Pleasant Bay. Wequessett means 'crescent on the water', named this by the Wampanoags. We sat in a wooded room with a huge window looking onto that glimmering crescent as the early evening light (which on this day was at 3:30.) played over the calm waters.

A gorgeous Christmas tree ( it was artificial but don't let my husband know I thought it was beautiful) was in the main dining room. It was fun to look out at the crochet lawn where the ceremony will take place and imagine it in full summer swing.

But for now, on this day of winter solstice, the cozy factor is what is happening; the looking out from within.  The taking time to take it all in and then to empty again and be happy with what is .....

slap happy and serene .

(They are not mutually exclusive.)

( This is our little gorgeous tree from last year which is real. This year we have a bit of a wabi sabi

situation with our  tree but I would rather have something naturally imperfect than artificially

 perfect.)

Kate and Alex: Exquisite Exhuberance at CBI

Update on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 9:10AM by Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

It is such a joy for a wedding officiant to witness a couple having such a good time, truly present and accounted for during their actual ceremony. Alex and Kate were such a couple. Kate's exhuberance and Alex's exquisite timing blended into a true union of complimentary qualities.

They choose four excellant readings and readers that savored their moment to share words of love and blessing. May Alex and Kate sail from this to that with grace, love and laughter from this day forward

Blessing the Boats (at St. Mary’s)” by Lucille Clifton

(read by bride’s family friend, Eugene Reilly)

        may the tide

        that is entering even now

       the lip of our understanding

        carry you out

        beyond the face of fear

        may you kiss

        the wind then turn from it

        certain that it will

        love your back

        may you

        open your eyes to water

        water waving forever

        and may you in your innocence

        sail through this to that