Being Engaged! What's next? How to choose a Wedding Officiant

Congratulations from this Cape Cod Wedding officiant/celebrant/minister.

You've just said yes and now you are engaged to be married." The ring is on the finger and 2014 is going to be a great year! After all the excitement sinks in you may start asking, "What do we do next?" If you plan to get married on Cape Cod at a venue, start there. Choosing an officiant could come next. If you are associated with a faith community you may not have to look too far but if you are doing a destination wedding or are unaffiliated you may want to start checking your options.

I sat with a couple yesterday who seemed relieved at my approach.  It can feel odd looking for an officiant.Would the person be an officious officiant? Would he or she feel too religious? Are they too new-agey? One just doesn't know what to expect.

It is all about a feeling of connection and comfort.

Your officiant /celebrant/ minister should feel like someone who has your back. Some one who is sincerely interested in your story and what you want in your ceremony.

There should be no feeling of pressure or having to explain yourselves. 

My approach is to let you take the lead to be as much or as little involved in the creation of your ceremony. It's up to me to ask the right questions. If you want to write your own vows I'd be glad to help with samples or ideas or even writing prompts.I have a questionnaire I use to get to know you which is especially helpful if we can't meet. But it is optional so there isn't a feeling of stress or duty.

I have ceremony templates but no boilerplate ceremonies. I am happy to send a draft of the ceremony as the date approaches.

I always say, "I am only as good as my couples" when I am complimented after presiding over a ceremony. And it is true. I do try and choose words that express your unique love but it is all about you two, pledging to be true and the genuine feelings this moment generates.

It is such a stunning and beautiful moment. So congratulations and enjoy the process of being totally engaged!

Congratulations! Happy New Year and New Life!

Kathleen at Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

Autumn Wedding at Bosari Gallery -Marie and Michael say, "I Do."

The sun, the smiles, the autumn equinox- a stunning happy bride and a handsome happy groom. Not a dry eye in the room. The outdoor room of the garden and a grand entrance down the steps. The cutest flower girl and ring bearer imaginable! Ahhh such bliss as Marie and Michael say "I do, I do " and kiss.

Interview with Lynn Holmgrin on Full Circle, the Minter&Richter BLog

* Minter & Richter offers FREE “Spa” Treatments for your wedding band for life! Contact us for more details!

Soulful By the Sea: A Cape Cod Wedding Officiant Shares Her Inspiration

Posted by Lynn on Jun 11, 2012 in blog | 0 comments

“For love keeps the stars in the firmament and imposes rhythm on the ocean tide. Each of us was created of it, and I suspect each of us was created for it.” Maya Angelou

Rev. Kathleen Geagan of Soulful Weddings

MR: You’re a wedding officiant on Cape Cod. No pressure there! What do you do when the sun refuses to appear and the winds are whipping across the sand flats?!

KG: You hope that the couple has a back- up shelter plan but if not, you keep a sense of humor and carry on. I’ve been in a downpour only once and we did just that. The couple really wanted to marry out in the elements. I’m pretty cool about it, but I don’t do lightning.

MR: What led you to take on this special role?

KG: I was hooked after my first wedding for Pete and Kathy in October of 2000. After being ordained as an interfaith minister I was also working as a chaplain. Two years ago I went full time into the wedding presider role. It is a wonderful gift to meet people in love and share this momentous time in their lives. I love to write poetry and enjoy a good love story, so weaving these elements into a ceremony makes it an enjoyable creative process.

“I believe it’s my job to listen for the theme; to sense the thematic thread, to perceive in the story what is being laid down, like a good guitar riff and I hope I get it right.”

MR: I love the above sentiment – pulled from your Soulful Weddings blog. Does meeting a couple for the first time feel a little bit like a first date? How does the process work?

KG: Definitely, it does feel like a bit of a first date. Most first meetings are like that, we get to know each other, it can be a bit awkward at first. Most couples are relieved to realize that I’m not a ‘officious’ officiant. If we can’t meet in person we can talk on the phone, communicate by e-mail. I use a wedding questionnaire that helps with getting information about the couple and what they want in their ceremony. It is a creative process that evolves as we get to know each other. Some couples just want to turn it all over, others like to have more input. I let them lead but take over when I see stress levels rising. (Years as a psych nurse help in reading people.)

MR: Can you share a few of your favorite wedding/love/marriage quotes?

KG: “True love is unconquerable and irresistible. It goes on gathering power and spreading itself until it transforms everyone it touches.” ~ Meher Baba

“For love keeps the stars in the firmament and imposes rhythm on the ocean tide. Each of us was created of it, and I suspect each of us was created for it.” ~ Maya Angelou

MR: You perform many ceremonies on the public beaches of Cape Cod. Any interesting stories about odd spectators (sea specimen, tourists?)

KG: I’ve had some great ones- a tourist who stood behind me snapping pictures over the hedge. I wasn’t even aware of her but the bride kept looking over my head with a look of concern on her face.I’ve also had couples who elope then become friendly with the people at the B and B where they are staying or folks they met on the beach that day. They end up with an impromptu wedding party and guests. Once I did a wedding in Hyannisport and I had some young Kennedy children on a trampoline jumping up and down to get a look at the wedding. The bride loved that at her wedding the Kennedy clan’s youngest were her wedding’s paparazzi.

MR: What is your advice for couples hoping to have the ceremony go as comfortably and smoothly as possible?

KG: Nourish each others’ sense of humor, keep communicating, have a rehearsal and or a point person who likes to be in charge and knows all the players. Don’t burden yourself with the onus of creating your own ceremony from scratch. Find an officiant you trust and turn things over so you can focus on the essential vow and promise you are about to make to the one you chose above all the rest. Have fun, don’t expect everything to go perfectly. Perfect weddings are boring.

Thank you, Kathleen