What do you love most about being a wedding officiant on Cape Cod?

" I love being around people in love." This was my immediate answer when a bride-to-be recently interviewed me. Such a good question. I have to admit I'm a hopeless romantic.

Yev and Elina at Brookside Club 

I just love everything about love and weddings.To be a part of the moment, to share in that leap of faith as two people step over the sacred threshold into the state of matrimony. It is just about the greatest thing ever. What's not to love? White roses on a birch bark archway, Nantucket Sound in the background, the spontaneity of the moment, being with two people giving their word in marriage, authentic joy and consecrated commitment. Wow! and it is really fun too!

JP,Cape Cod wedding officiant,celebrant,minister-questions to ask when choosing

Question #1: What is the difference between a JP, celebrant, officiant and a wedding minister? In the past, for the religiously affilated, the wedding date, place and person to preside was dictated by your faith community's schedule. Now those of us who consider ourselves non-affiliated have so many more choices.

I am an ordained interfaith minister authorized by the State of Massachuesetts to preside over marriages. I studied for two years at The New Seminary of NYC. In June 2000 I was ordained as an Interfaith Minister at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in NYC.

Qustion #2- What is your faith or religion? As an interfaith minister I try and find the essence of love in all religions and faiths. Being raised Irish Catholic I have a somewhat irreverent, Celtic, nature-based resistence to overly organized religion, although I will tell you, I'm kinda in love Pope Francis. He must be St. Francis of Asissi reincarnated. I am fine with disorganized religions, and on and off-beat spiritual paths. I am comfortable with anyone who is still figuring it all out. It is not so much what a person knows or believes, it is the quality of their love that matters.

Now back to business JP- stands for Justice of the Peace. They are authorized by the town to preside over weddings and have a fixed rate for their fees depending on the town. Town clerks are JP's and can preside over weddings at the town hall or out and about. 

There are also Life Cycle Celebrants that are wedding officiants as well. The word 'celebrant' is not theirs alone and I believe anyone authorized to preside over weddings could use this term to describe themselves (especially if they feel more celebratory than officious.)

So I am a ordained wedding minister, wedding officiant and wedding celebrant.

I am not a JP, not that there is anything wrong with that- seriously JP's are great and I refer to them all the time. So I hope this helps clarify. enough for now.

Keep Happy -Kathleen

PS Happy Birthday Beloved Avatar Meher Baba and thank You from the bottom of my heart!

From Yes to a Marriage to Bless: Tying The Knot without getting tied in knots.

This Cape Cod wedding celebrant wants to share some insights about how to get from "yes" to having a marriage to bless. After the Big Question is popped a series of other questions begin to pop up. When, where, how many, and who will preside are a few questions that need to be answered as you plan your Big Day.

My first suggestion is let the depth of the moment sink in. You have just said yes to a lifechanging proposal. This is an extraordinary experience and should be honored as such. Don't let planning your wedding day interfere with your upcoming marriage.

On the other hand there are some couples for whom a shorter engagement period feels just right. Prioritize what is important to each of you: A date that is significant or a place that holds your heart.

                                    Andrea and Arthur Tie the Knot at Wychmere Harbor last June

Here are some tips on how to tie the knot without getting tied up in knots. It is a challenge, the first of many you'll face as a united front of two. Keep a sense of humor. Have a word or face or gesture that cracks the two of you up when stress rears it's head. 

It is such a great preparation for the state of marriage. A chance to learn so much about one another and how you make decisions.

Keep a beginner's mind. If this is your first wedding you may have held for quite some time a vision of your dream wedding day. If that vision doesn't jib with your fiancee's vision or lack of the same, cultivate big-heartedness- be open and listen, be ready to give and give-in. The key to happiness. 

Catch it and take some time off if it feels like a runaway wedding - out of your hands and no longer reflecting who you are as a couple.

  There will be conflicts to work through, that is normal, but remember -Love Prevails!

Get to know the person who is presiding over your ceremony so you trust them. The ceremony is one part of your day that is all about a sweet surrender. You are about to be carried over a threshold into the state of matrimony. How cool is that!

Enough for now. Small portions are easier to digest.

Thanks to Helene and Zack for the inspiration for this posting. And Maggie for the darling

"He asked and she said yes!"

Keep happy!

Kathleen at Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

Cape Cod Weddings by the Sea

In her book,Gift from the Sea, Ann Morrow Lindberg addresses the ever changing yet constant ebb and flow of the tides. Her words speak to how we envision love to be always 'hightide happy' when the deepest love is revealed when the sea recedes and we discover hidden treasures. Living on Cape Cod Bay one learns to love the mile-out, low tide that occurs twice a day. It is a seemingly endless seascape of sky meeting far-off surf with all that smooth sand in between. The Brewster Flats are snow covered now but sooner than we know, the season of increasing sun will be upon us. In the photo above Nikki and Mike look out over Chequessett Harbor in Wellfleet below Marie and Michael take a moment to walk by Cape Cod Bay after their nuptials at Borsari Gallery in Dennis. The next photo is at Crosby Landing in Brewster.

The Ceremony: the corner stone of your wedding day.

Happy third anniversary Bethany and Scott ! Red Rock Cornerstone

"Thank you for helping us with and playing such an important role in the most fantastic day. We had the best time and the ceremony was the corner stone. It was everything we hoped it would be - inspirational, spiritual, grounded, loving, funny, fluid, warm - I could go on and on. We loved it. It captures us perfectly. Thank you thank you".- Mara and Kevin Movember 1, 2014

These kind words from Mara and Kevin inspired me to think of the ceremony in a new way. I've written about how the ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. I've mused about  how it sets the tone for the rest of your big day. But this use of a structural term caught my imagination. The ceremony is the first stone in the construction of your wedding day. And more importantly, the vows and promises you make set the foundation for your future life as husband and wife. 

 The cornerstone (or foundation stone) concept is derived from the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure.

     "Scaffolding” by Seamus Heaney

Masons, when they start upon a building,

Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,

Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

 And yet all this comes down when the job’s done

Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

 So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be

Old bridges breaking between you and me

 Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall,

Confident that we have built our wall.

Pilgrim Monument, Provincetown- Jen and Joe's Wedding Setting October 2014