To Have and to hold and to seal with a kiss

Cape Cod Weddings: We Gather Together (Again)

As the rain fell melting the snow I met with a wonderful couple today.  Nancy and Tom are getting married in June. We sat by the fire and began planning their sunny early summer ceremony.  We will gather together again in Orleans at the family homestead by Nauset Beach. I'm so blessed to be presiding over this wedding too. The bride- to- be is the sister of this groom pictured below. What a beautiful double blessing to join yet another sensational couple together in matrimony. ( And I get to work with the wonderful photographer Kim Rielly at Studio K who took this photo. ) We gather together again!

http://www.kimreillyphotography.com/

The Ceremony: the corner stone of your wedding day.

Happy third anniversary Bethany and Scott ! Red Rock Cornerstone

"Thank you for helping us with and playing such an important role in the most fantastic day. We had the best time and the ceremony was the corner stone. It was everything we hoped it would be - inspirational, spiritual, grounded, loving, funny, fluid, warm - I could go on and on. We loved it. It captures us perfectly. Thank you thank you".- Mara and Kevin Movember 1, 2014

These kind words from Mara and Kevin inspired me to think of the ceremony in a new way. I've written about how the ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. I've mused about  how it sets the tone for the rest of your big day. But this use of a structural term caught my imagination. The ceremony is the first stone in the construction of your wedding day. And more importantly, the vows and promises you make set the foundation for your future life as husband and wife. 

 The cornerstone (or foundation stone) concept is derived from the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure.

     "Scaffolding” by Seamus Heaney

Masons, when they start upon a building,

Are careful to test out the scaffolding;

Make sure that planks won’t slip at busy points,

Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints.

 And yet all this comes down when the job’s done

Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.

 So if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be

Old bridges breaking between you and me

 Never fear. We may let the scaffolds fall,

Confident that we have built our wall.

Pilgrim Monument, Provincetown- Jen and Joe's Wedding Setting October 2014

Runaway Weddings: How the Ceremony can recapture the Moment

You have heard about the 'Runaway Bride' and there are always those pre-nup nudges who urge the groom to, "Run while you can." Now we are going to explore,' The Runaway Wedding.' This idea came up when I was meeting with a couple whose wedding was 6 months away. Both MDs, this couple had already put a ban on all things wedding related. This way they could relax and enjoy their Cape Cod vacation. The fact that they were meeting with me, their officiant, was ironic and flattering.

No matter how simple you try to keep it, it gets complicated.

The ceremony can recapture the runaway wedding beginning at the rehearsal. While going over the ceremony the couple is reminded about what all the fuss is about: why they have gone to such lengths, made so many seemingly inconsequential decisions and gathered, from far and wide, friends and family to witness this age old ritual of faith and fidelity. It is all about this crazy thing called love!

My niece, Leah, pointed this out in July when we did a short run through of her ceremony reconfirming  her love and commitment to Emilio. Their first ceremony was in a 13th century Catholic Church in a bell tolling village outside of Madrid. This wedding was put together in a matter of weeks. It  looks to me like the most exquisite wedding ceremony imaginable. But Leah wanted her California friends and family to celebrate her marriage as well. Their second ceremony was co-officiated by my brother Bri and I, my son played music and it was a homespun affair sitting on hay bales overlooking the Sonoma Valley Vineyards.

So what does a Runaway Wedding look like? For many couples the religious rituals don't dictate the wedding ceremony anymore. At the same time we are in the virtual age. It is easy to lose sight of what you are about to do and become caught up in the production of an image. It's not real until it is on Facebook or the video is released.

I try to balance these two polarities in my ceremonies keeping the sacred rite of matrimony intact while honoring the traditions that make sense to the couple. I can tell when the focus is off and try to bring it back. This is an attempt to recapture that runaway wedding. It is a matter of managing expectations and downplaying the Disney like fantasy of a virtually perfect performance of a wedding ceremony.

Both weddings for Emilio and Leah were real, with real people- the human factor was in full play! Her parents, my brother and sister- in- law knocked themselves out to have the perfect wedding day at their Sonoma Vineyard Home. There were roller coasters of emotions and dizzying displays of mood swings- all the stuff that happens around a big threshold crossing - the regression before the developmental leap. Both the ceremonies were beautiful, with dimpled smiles and sweet tears and new traditions created. (And to be honest some post nuptial decompression that can feel like exhaustion and often is. Mostly for the family the host of the wedding.)

Keeping it simple is not so simple nor is keeping real but well worth the effort.

As for this subject there is a lot more to say......for another day

 We are probably looking at a Runaway Wedding if.......

Wedding Ceremonies on Cape Cod- This Celebrant wants to share

 a few more memories of fabulous couples who said "I do" in 2013.  

 This couple Adam and Lindsey wed at Sea Crest Resort in Falmouth.They not only wanted to say "I do" but also wanted to honor the way that lead them here to this moment. This is how it was said in the ceremony after the reading Blessing the Boats by Lucille Clifton

As Lindsey and Adam’s travel from this to that they would like to take a moment to acknowledge that this is a celebration and milestone in their relationship. Their promise of being beloved partners started long before today and will grow and change after today. Today marks a crossing of a threshold and is a celebration of the deepening of this love and commitment into marriage.  They would like to acknowledge their commitment before, during and after the marriage ceremony.

So I ask Lindsey and Adam, do you to promise to continue to be beloved partners, as you have been before, now during and after this marriage ceremony?     

                                                            “We did, we do, we will.”

 Photos by Hello Love Photography

http://hellolovephoto.com/blog/lindsey-adam-wedding-at-the-sea-crest-beach-hotel/

Update on Thursday, February 6, 2014 at 11:48AM by Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

Just the two of you saying I do with Lovely Organic Photography Kristin and Joe capturing this heartfelt moment at Race Point. The clouds literally parted and the sun beamed down upon us as these two Ohio Beauties promised to be true! Thank you for your kind words!