To Have and to hold and to seal with a kiss

This Cape Cod Wedding officiant/minister/celebrant on Slow Ceremonies

I love the tenor of this years' weddings. Like the slow food movement and the slow this and that, this 2015 year has ushered in the sweet, sincere and slow ceremony. Not slow in time or function but in the sense that a meal should be prepared with love and attention and then while at the table -savored.

The first wedding of 2015 and the first wedding ever at this lovely little venue took place last Saturday.The wedding was held by the fire pit overlooking the Lewis Bay at the The Anchor In Waterfront Lodging in Hyannis.

A real Cape Cod hidden gem for an intimate wedding.

As the Duck boats splashed into Hyannis Harbor we waited for the bride to enter with her daughter and son. The groom's words before the vows were all lyrics from their favorite songs strung together to declare his love.

"....Forever and forever love you with all my heart."

She vowed to dance with him in unexpected places. So how fitting was it that they had their first dance right after being pronounced husband and wife. They took their time and slowly swayed to

"In my life....I 've loved you more" -(they are big Beatles fans.) All in all just a lovely little wedding-Low stress- high savor except for when the marriage license almost blew away...made it a day to remember in more than one way.

Great way to start the 2015 season

This Cape Cod Wedding Celebrant

wishes everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. A time devoted to the anticipation of romantic love.

The subject tonight is love and ANTICIPATION. For all of you who are secretly anticipating a marriage proposal on this day savor this amazing moment! And remember some people want to surprise you.

Anticipation can feel like "Keeping me waiting" as Carly Simon says.

For some couples anticipation can feel like anxiety and these moments prior to the ceremony can be difficult.

 Here is my niece, Leah, in the moments right before she wed.

 I usually get the fun job of being with the groom and groomsmen. On occasion, I've been enlisted to calm the nerves of an anxious bride. Who wouldn't be a bit nervous? This is a big step and you're about to cross an amazing threshold.

 I have found brides who are nurses usually are 'go with the flow.' They know the difference between happy stress and distress.Maybe I just resonate with nurses since I am one. but let me give you a great example of what I mean.

 Last autumn I had a wedding in Bristol, RI. The bride is a nurse.The weather was iffy.The ceremony outside in the Blithewold Mansion garden. As the time to begin was upon us, there was great concern, for two busloads of family and guests hadn't arrived. The news came in: the only bridge to Bristol was closed due to an accident. It was astablished that all kin were fine just at a standstill. The waiting began. The guests were already in their seats outside as the afternoon mist grew heavy and the sun began to set over Mt. Hope Bay.

A suggestion was made that the bar be open but the wedding planner wasn't sure. It was then I saw two bridemaids scurry out and back in with something hidden beneath their schawls.

Soon, from the bridal chambers below, came a chorus of bridemaids singing in harmony-

                                       "Going to the chapel and we're going get married."

The groomsmen petitioned the caterer. The cocktail hour commenced and the buses were soon on their way. The bride was so happy to have her grandparents there for the ceremony.

Here are Siobhan and Jay on their surprisingly harmonious wedding day.

Runaway Weddings: How the Ceremony can recapture the Moment

You have heard about the 'Runaway Bride' and there are always those pre-nup nudges who urge the groom to, "Run while you can." Now we are going to explore,' The Runaway Wedding.' This idea came up when I was meeting with a couple whose wedding was 6 months away. Both MDs, this couple had already put a ban on all things wedding related. This way they could relax and enjoy their Cape Cod vacation. The fact that they were meeting with me, their officiant, was ironic and flattering.

No matter how simple you try to keep it, it gets complicated.

The ceremony can recapture the runaway wedding beginning at the rehearsal. While going over the ceremony the couple is reminded about what all the fuss is about: why they have gone to such lengths, made so many seemingly inconsequential decisions and gathered, from far and wide, friends and family to witness this age old ritual of faith and fidelity. It is all about this crazy thing called love!

My niece, Leah, pointed this out in July when we did a short run through of her ceremony reconfirming  her love and commitment to Emilio. Their first ceremony was in a 13th century Catholic Church in a bell tolling village outside of Madrid. This wedding was put together in a matter of weeks. It  looks to me like the most exquisite wedding ceremony imaginable. But Leah wanted her California friends and family to celebrate her marriage as well. Their second ceremony was co-officiated by my brother Bri and I, my son played music and it was a homespun affair sitting on hay bales overlooking the Sonoma Valley Vineyards.

So what does a Runaway Wedding look like? For many couples the religious rituals don't dictate the wedding ceremony anymore. At the same time we are in the virtual age. It is easy to lose sight of what you are about to do and become caught up in the production of an image. It's not real until it is on Facebook or the video is released.

I try to balance these two polarities in my ceremonies keeping the sacred rite of matrimony intact while honoring the traditions that make sense to the couple. I can tell when the focus is off and try to bring it back. This is an attempt to recapture that runaway wedding. It is a matter of managing expectations and downplaying the Disney like fantasy of a virtually perfect performance of a wedding ceremony.

Both weddings for Emilio and Leah were real, with real people- the human factor was in full play! Her parents, my brother and sister- in- law knocked themselves out to have the perfect wedding day at their Sonoma Vineyard Home. There were roller coasters of emotions and dizzying displays of mood swings- all the stuff that happens around a big threshold crossing - the regression before the developmental leap. Both the ceremonies were beautiful, with dimpled smiles and sweet tears and new traditions created. (And to be honest some post nuptial decompression that can feel like exhaustion and often is. Mostly for the family the host of the wedding.)

Keeping it simple is not so simple nor is keeping real but well worth the effort.

As for this subject there is a lot more to say......for another day

 We are probably looking at a Runaway Wedding if.......

First wedding of 2013 at Wequassett Resort

 Jim and Emily - Early spring wedding at  Wequassett Resort on Cape Cod . It was a great way to begin the beguine of the 2013 season .

Photography by Studio K - Orleans Kim Rielly