Hooray for Marriage= and Happy Anniversary to June Bride and Grooms

David and I just celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary yesterday. We walked to Sheep Pond. I had a silky swim. David told me that in the Bill Bryson book he is reading that there is something in certian waters that makes it feel silky. Whatever that is, Sheep Pond has it.We then had a delicious dinner at Bucca's in Harwich- very romantic and fun. 

Our marriage is in a good place right now. I would say we are on an even keel. Far from rocking the boat my husband's retirement has brought us closer. We are one of those couples who are so very different;not each other's best friends. Now that we are figuring out how to be better spouses it feels like the friendship is growing. 

Hey before I go on let's give a cheer for Marriage = Equality. To all the couples especially from the South, who came to Cape Cod to wed, I want to say Hooray! Y'all really means you ALL.

Organic photography -Rachel and Angel walk down the aisle at Race Point Beach

 Rainer Marie Rilke-On marriage--

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. and once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

After 27 I am happy to say that "I still do." I am also more committed than ever to my marriage and yours.

As for the traditional vows they are essential "to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in good times and in bad ......." Have fun with your personalized vows but remember the essence of the ceremony is the promise to be a faithful spouse for a lifetime. That makes picking up your socks sound really simple!

Don't Worry. Be Married,

Love and Happy Anniversary to all you June Bride and Grooms.

Rev. Kathleen

Cape Cod Weddings: We Gather Together (Again)

As the rain fell melting the snow I met with a wonderful couple today.  Nancy and Tom are getting married in June. We sat by the fire and began planning their sunny early summer ceremony.  We will gather together again in Orleans at the family homestead by Nauset Beach. I'm so blessed to be presiding over this wedding too. The bride- to- be is the sister of this groom pictured below. What a beautiful double blessing to join yet another sensational couple together in matrimony. ( And I get to work with the wonderful photographer Kim Rielly at Studio K who took this photo. ) We gather together again!

http://www.kimreillyphotography.com/

Your Wedding Vows: The Soul of your Ceremony.

 Meghan and Jeff say I Do at the Providance Library last February. What a beautiful indoor venue and the family provided such meaningful Greek touches as the Exchange of Crowns.

The ceremony is the heart of your wedding day and I like to think of the vows as the soul of your ceremony. A big-hearted wedding ceremony always gives not only the two of you an infusion of love but allows your guests to share in the happiness of the moment. The vows are really more about the two of you and what you are about to do. A deeply felt promise to be faithful and true. 

It is in the alchemy of the moment which cannot to forced or coerced or even captured. The reactions of the bride and groom as they take their vows are varied and often surprising: from giddy to stunned, sincere to numb, to emotional soulful fun.

I always include in the ceremony these words before the vows:

The Meaning of Marriage by Wendell Berry

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for joining ourselves to one another, we join ourselves to the unknown…you do not know the road; you have committed your life to a way.

and that way is with each other.....

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of our word.....

Vows are a promise a giving of our word to fidelity to love. So on the days where love is more of a decision than a passionate feeling we can remember what we have given our word to ......

When couples are writing their own vows I also include a more taditional 'I do' vow so they can be more free- form in their words to each other. 

Often when a couple decides to write their own vows,one of them is worried that they aren't as articulate as the other. They ask me to help and if they have already filled the second page of the wedding questionnaire I have sent them, which contains such questions as, "What do you most appreciate about each other?  What does commitment mean to you? what is at the heart of your love story? "  I can cull from their reponses words of praise and promise. Then they are off and running, ready to write.

 

 In this photo the bride surprised her groom with a written vow on the white board behind us. She thought she would be too emotional to speak. As I recall the groom was the one who was moved to tears when he read her words.

This wedding was in the wine cellar at Borsari Gallery in Dennis. It is  such a wonderful atmosphere for a soulful, heartfelt wedding ceremonies.

So for those of you who are a bit shy we can always find a way to make your ceremony feel safe and warm while remaining soulful, heartfelt and even fun!

Cape Cod and beyond: Weddings 2014- Have Nuptials will Travel

First off-cape adventure was in February all to Providence, Rhode Island for Meghan and Jeff's beautiful wedding at the Providence Library.

Next at the hearth at Stoneforge Tavern-

Tom and Krystal 's Wedding Day in May  -Hooray!

 This  Cape Cod interfaith wedding minister/officiant/celebrant has gone off-cape and done some destination weddings in New England this past season.  Traveling to Bristol Rhode Island for Jay and Siobhan's nuptials at the Blithewold Mansion was a real adventure. I love them and I enjoyed getting to know Bristol and their wonderful family and friends.

Then there was a trip to Maine for Ben and Allison's Wedding on the island of Southport. What a gorgeous setting for a wedding!

                                                                   Southport Island Maine

Now as the polar vortex approaches Cape Cod I'm beginning to fantasize about some tropical island time .....a  destination winter wedding! And as Holidays approach there is no place like home. Brewster and just beyond feels right for right now!

A Lovely Little Wedding

 I have presided over big and small weddings at homes, at venues and on beaches. Even an extravagant affair can feel intimate and cozy if the couple is there. If they show -up in the moment. It is easy to get distracted because this is a momentous moment; a sacred threshold. But it is really lovely when you witness the couple as they realize what is about to happen. And see them genuinely moved when they give their word in marriage.

From the  October Garden at The Belfry Inn

 

 to the red room at the Barley Neck Inn,

on the beaches of Cape Cod,at the Lighthouse Inn

  to the wine cellar at Borsari Gallery

No matter how big or small, lavish or simple, when the couple themselves are in the moment, the wedding is always lovely.