Writing your own vows- I Plight Thee my Troth

This Cape Cod Wedding Celebrant/officiant/interfaith minister often gets the question, "How do we write our own vows? I want to say something but my words just come out a jumble."

Love is hard to put into words but lets focus on vows. The essential vow in the marriage rite is the vow to remain faithful and true to the one you have chosen above all the rest.

This is so simple yet so profound.      "I plight (pledge) thee my Troth (Truth.)

Across all cultures and religions  this remains the truth of the marriage ceremony." I pledge to be true to you. I pledge my fidelity "-old fashion words that are essential to the rite of marriage.  With that said you have the freedom and creativity to express yourself and your love in a way that feels real and natural. 

When couples attempt to write their own vows it turns out what they usually want to express is the love in their hearts and the reason for their choice in marriage. This is perfectly fitting. In other words you are saying, "Here is why I chose you and here is what I promise.

If we cover the essential vow in your ceremony you are free to say what you feel, make some extra promises that are unique to your relationship. You can have some fun with this. It is said that the profound and sublime belly up to the same bar as the sweetly ridiculous. It is actually the halllmark of a true ceremony and real rite of passage.

 

Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

November Weddings- A Time to Give Thanks "for precious things"

This Cape Cod Wedding officiant wants to share two articles about Wendell Berry.

http://appvoices.org/2013/10/22/a-giving-of-thanks-for-wendell-berry/

http://appvoices.org/2013/10/16/in-defense-of-the-earth-an-appalachian-poets-presence/   

The Country of Marriage

by

Wendell Berry

….our life reminds me

of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing

 Michele and Eric wed on Long Pasture giving their word in marriage

 The Meaning of Marriage: Wendell Berry

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for joining ourselves to one another, we join ourselves to the unknown…you do not know the road; you have committed your life to a way.

Consent:  Have you come here today of your own free will to give each other your word in Marriage?    We Have.

Wendell Berry taught English Comp to my sister her freshman year at the University of Kentucky and danced with all of us at square dances in Monterey, after reading his poetry.

Brian Sewell wrote this about the interview with Wendell Berry.

Something really hit me when Berry noted in his conversation with Moyers that much of his writing has been “a giving of thanks for precious things.” It’s so easy these days to become fixated on what’s wrong with the world, and, as Berry went on to say, “it’s mighty hard right now to think of anything that’s precious that isn’t in danger.” Berry’s extensive body of work reminds us, however, to take the time to fully appreciate, love, and learn from the good and beautiful things in the world.

 Some say the institution of marriage is one of those endangered precious things. Let's fixate on what is right with this world. I am blessed to know many couples who give their word in marriage a live fully in the Country of Marriage. ( And often let me know their lineage of love has carried on into the next generation. Hooray!)

So today,as we enter the month of Thanksgiving, we  " give thanks for precious things."

Interview with Lynn from from Full Circle of Minter and Richter Designs

 Soulful By the Sea: A Cape Cod Wedding Officiant Shares Her Inspiration 

Posted by Lynn on Jun 11, 2012 in blog | 0 comments

“For love keeps the stars in the firmament and imposes rhythm on the ocean tide. Each of us was created of it, and I suspect each of us was created for it.”            Maya Angelou

 

 Rev. Kathleen Geagan of Soulful Weddings

MR: You’re a wedding officiant on Cape Cod. No pressure there! What do you do when the sun refuses to appear and the winds are whipping across the sand flats?!

KG: You hope that the couple has a back- up shelter plan but if not, you keep a sense of humor and carry on. I’ve been in a downpour only once and we did just that. The couple really wanted to marry out in the elements. I’m pretty cool about it, but I don’t do lightning.

MR: What led you to take on this special role?

KG: I was hooked after my first wedding for Pete and Kathy in October of 2000. After being ordained as an interfaith minister I was also working as a chaplain. Two years ago I went full time into the wedding presider role. It is a wonderful gift to meet people in love and share this momentous time in their lives. I love to write poetry and enjoy a good love story, so weaving these elements into a ceremony makes it an enjoyable creative process.

  With this ring I promise I'll always love you!

 Steve and co. laid down a riff after Steve and Tammy wed at the Barley Neck Inn Autumn 2011.

“I believe it’s my job to listen for the theme; to sense the thematic thread, to perceive in the story what is being laid down, like a good guitar riff and I hope I get it right.”

 MR: I love the above sentiment – pulled from your Soulful Weddings blog. Does meeting a couple for the first time feel a little bit like a first date? How does the process work?

KG: Definitely, it does feel like a bit of a first date. Most first meetings are like that, we get to know each other, it can be a bit awkward at first. Most couples are relieved to realize that I’m not a ‘officious’ officiant. If we can’t meet we talk on the phone or communicate by e-mail. I use a wedding questionnaire that helps with getting information about the couple and what they want in their ceremony. It is a creative process that evolves as we get to know each other. Some couples just want to turn it all over, others like to have more input. I let them lead but take over when I see stress levels rising.

MR: Can you share a few of your favorite wedding/love/marriage quotes?

KG: “True love is unconquerable and irresistible. It goes on gathering power and spreading itself until it transforms everyone it touches.” ~ Meher Baba

“For love keeps the stars in the firmament and imposes rhythm on the ocean tide. Each of us was created of it, and I suspect each of us was created for it.” ~ Maya Angelou

                   

MR: What is your advice for couples hoping to have the ceremony go as comfortably and smoothly as possible?

KG: Nourish each other’s sense of humor, keep communicating, have a rehearsal and or a point person who likes to be in charge and knows all the players. Don’t burden yourself with the onus of creating your own ceremony from scratch. Find an officiant you trust and turn things over so you can focus on the essential vow and promise you are about to make to the one you chose above all the rest. Have fun, don’t expect everything to go perfectly. Perfect weddings are boring, a bit too predictable. 'Perfectly you' weddings are surprisingly compelling, engaging and sincerely fun.

Thank you, Kathleen

The Magnificant Moxams: May you all know how deeply you are loved.

Sister s

Update on Wednesday, September 18, 2013 at 8:53AM by Soulful Wedding Ceremonies

Thank you Paul Blackmore for your beautiful photography of Leah and Anthony's wedding! It is always a pleasure to work with you at a wedding or event!