Writing your own vows- I Plight Thee my Troth

This Cape Cod Wedding Celebrant/officiant/interfaith minister often gets the question, "How do we write our own vows? I want to say something but my words just come out a jumble."

Love is hard to put into words but lets focus on vows. The essential vow in the marriage rite is the vow to remain faithful and true to the one you have chosen above all the rest.

This is so simple yet so profound.      "I plight (pledge) thee my Troth (Truth.)

Across all cultures and religions  this remains the truth of the marriage ceremony." I pledge to be true to you. I pledge my fidelity "-old fashion words that are essential to the rite of marriage.  With that said you have the freedom and creativity to express yourself and your love in a way that feels real and natural. 

When couples attempt to write their own vows it turns out what they usually want to express is the love in their hearts and the reason for their choice in marriage. This is perfectly fitting. In other words you are saying, "Here is why I chose you and here is what I promise.

If we cover the essential vow in your ceremony you are free to say what you feel, make some extra promises that are unique to your relationship. You can have some fun with this. It is said that the profound and sublime belly up to the same bar as the sweetly ridiculous. It is actually the halllmark of a true ceremony and real rite of passage.

 

The Vows

The wedding ceremony is built around the cornerstone of the vows. A promise to be faithful to the one you choose above all the rest. The one to whom you give your word. 

 The Meaning of Marriage: Wendell Berry

The meaning of marriage begins with the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for joining ourselves to one another, we join ourselves to the unknown…you do not know the road; you have committed your life to a way.